Some of you have been asking, “What gives, Stookie? Why haven’t you been blogging?” While I could concoct a widely creative excuse, the truth of the matter is that I am someone with a terrific penchant for over-reaching and underperforming. I am also a terrible time manager. These personal truths were brought into acute focus for me over the course of this past year – My “gap year” as they call it.
Now in the last month of my gap year, I realize that despite having no job and really no responsibilities to speak of whatsoever, I still have not done nearly a quarter of the things I thought I would do during this year off. I haven’t, for example, awoken each morning to go for a jog and do yoga, as I had imagined myself doing. I kid you not when I say, I did yoga one morning this entire year. It was on July 13th. I haven’t bagged even one Munroe, let alone the “well, not all of them, but most of them”, that I had imagined bragging about upon my return. I did not develop a thriving, busy and wildly profitable cottage industry making jewellery, as I had hoped (still, thanks Kevin and Ingrid for your purchases). I haven’t written a novel, or even blogged weekly like I said I would. I have not met the man of my dreams. In fact, I only went on two dates this entire year, which I suppose is at least better than my yoga efforts.
Maybe this is what a gap year gives you – with nothing else to get in your way but yourself, it gives you a chance to become intimately familiar with your weaknesses and personal failings. It is a chance to stare those little bastards in the face, size them up, dance around them, poke and pull at them, and really get to know them.
Having said that, and this is a terrible thing to admit as a social worker, and perhaps another personal failing, quite probably a major one, but I have never been a big fan of self-awareness. I mean what do you do with it? Maybe others do something with it, but not me. I never really have. It’s kinda of like when my friend Sandra’s cat got frostbite on her ear and it dried up and fell off, and she batted it around on the floor, meowed at it, and looked at it kind of strangely, not sure where it had come from, or why, or what to do with it. That’s how I feel about self-awareness when I have it. So I’ve got these faults, eh? Hunh….interesting….., and then that’s it.
Of course, all of this probably makes me sound horrifically ungrateful for this year abroad, but this is something I am most assuredly not. If anything this year has given me an even greater sense of gratitude for the life I do have, and the opportunities it provides, and particularly for all those people in my life, who love me despite my many, many failings.
I am also making it sound like I haven’t been doing anything at all, which is patently untrue. In case you are wondering, yes, minimizing my own experiences is indeed one of my personal failings. It’s a BIG one. In fact, since my last blog entry I have:
– waitressed at the Edinburgh Conference Centre for several award events that have hosted the likes of Bob Geldof and Princess Margaret, and at a posh event at Murrayfield Stadium during the 6 Nation Rugby matches, that Daniel Craig attended. That’s right – Bond. James Bond. 
– made two trips to London – which I LOVED. 
– had a golf lesson at the Longniddry Golf Club, in the middle of February just for the experience of it, and really quite liked it, though it was blowing a snell wind 
– learned a little more Scottish, like, “snell wind”.
– made more pretty (I think) jewellery – (see my shop at Etsy – OiseauDesigns)
– after 26 years, made my return to ballet with adult classes at Dance Base in Edinburgh….not pretty….but way more enjoyable than I anticipated. Started attending swimming and Pilates regularly again too. I cannot tell you how grateful my body is! Well, was…
– AND…..spent 6 weeks traveling around Spain and Morocco! Yep, it involved camels. Click on these photo links to see more:
So, not so bad, eh? Really, quite, quite excellent. And, I guess if it comes with a little self-awareness in the process, so be it. It’s not like I’ll do anything with it anyway.
stookiehavers 